A call for fathers to step up to their responsibilities

A Grenadian mother is calling on delinquent fathers to step up and play their roles and responsibilities as biological fathers in the lives of their children.

An angry Marva Rowe, the mother of 29 year-old Marvin Teka, who escaped a near death experience when the small aircraft he was flying crashed into a coconut tree, while trying to make an emergency landing in neighbouring St Vincent on May 9 walked into the Office of THE NEW TODAY newspaper to express her views.

Rowe was not happy with a report carried in the newspaper about the incident in which Marvin narrowly escaped death and emerged from the crash with only a few scratches and bruises over his left eye.

She said she had a story to tell the world in light of the publication of the article about her son’s plane crash published on the back page of this newspaper on May 15 in which her son’s biological father, Finbar Peters spoke to our News Desk.

She expressed displeasure that due to the plane crash, Peters is now happy to come forward to say, “I am the father of my son”.

She described the so-called father to her son as a successful businessman who contributed “close to nothing” to Marvin who is now studying as a pilot in St Lucia, “even though we both went to him many times for help.”

“He is not the father of my son…he has not fathered my child,” declared an angry  Rowe who was quick to add that although Peters is the  biological father of her son, she “was practically a single parent.”

“Marvin was never fathered by Finbar Peters,” she blurted out, while explaining that her “ex-husband, Ricardo Teka adopted Marvin” and brought him up as his own son.

“He (Ricardo Teka) saw him (Marvin) through secondary school (at the Grenada Boys Secondary) and even when the marriage fell apart, he was still able to contribute to the bringing up of Marvin to an extent,” she remarked.

Explaining her struggles, Marvin’s mother recalled that her son, who will be 30 years old in December, wanted to be a “pilot ever since he was three…”.

She pointed out that after completing secondary school in 2005, Marvin expressed a desire to travel abroad to begin fulfilling his dream of becoming a pilot and she did all in her power to make her son’s dream come true.

“I went to his father (Peters) for assistance” but to no avail, she noted, adding that the small businessman gave them “a run around and I decided that I am not going to go and beg him anymore”.

“…It was hard but I was able to push myself to ensure that my son was taken care of and was able to help him with a a loan so that he can go and study to be a pilot,” she said.

The mother refuted claims made by Peters that he was flying to St. Vincent after the crash to visit his son who was in hospital.

Rowe said Peters never made the trip and due to lack of funds, she herself was  unable to travel to see him immediately and so when she heard that Peters was going she was relieved.

“When I found out that on Tuesday (May 12th) that he didn’t go, I decided that I was going to find a way to go by myself…I was told by the other pilot’s mother that he (Marvin) did not have anything – because remember, he (Marvin) did not go to (St. Vincent) to stay. He only ended up there because of the crash. So he did not have any clothes or toiletries”, she remarked.

According to the mother of the pilot in training, she is a strong believer in God and always put her trust and faith in him.

“I just want to testify as a believer in Christ about the goodness of God…every time I pray I ask my Father (God) to protect my child, to fly with him, land with him in everything he does, wherever he goes … so I know that he is covered by the blood of Jesus…he showed me his miraculous work by the plane crashing and my son’s life is saved.

She attributed God’s work for the fact that both pilots are alive “considering the magnitude of the wrecked plane”.

“I must recognize my father Olumba Olumba Obu, the spiritual head of the universe as the holy father who has saved the life of my son and the other pilot,” she said.

According to the mother, her son has not resumed studies to beocme a Pilot as he is still recovering at his home St Lucia.

Marvin left Grenada in 2013 to embark upon his studies in St. Lucia.

The mother of three also expressed the view that a lot of young men and women that are going astray and following bad company under peer pressure and different situations are children that do not get to accomplish things that they desire to achieve in life due to lack of parental support.

“They don’t have the push, they don’t have the help…they get frustrated and confused and they become distracted…”, she said.

“Men should take a stand in the child’s life – whether they are with the women or not, whatever the contribution it is for the benefit of the child”, she added.

Rowe stressed that “most of the times children look up to their father” but some of them turn their backs on their own children and because “these children do not have the love of their father they grow up looking for love and turn to all different directions because they are lacking love.”

She called on the fathers in the nation to “step up, and learn to be in their child or children lives, as it would make a big difference in how the child turns out.”

“I would like these fathers to consider the fact that they have brought these children into the world…I am asking for men – parents on a whole to love their children and to be in their children lives…I did not turn my back on my child even if the father did. I stuck it out with my child up to this day,” she said.

“In Grenada there are a lot of single parents (especially women) fighting up with their children, while the men that gave the children to us women are going about living their lives like their child does not exist,” she added.

She felt hurt over the manner in which Peters looked after his own son and regarded him as only a “sperm donor” to her son since he never performed the duties that are expected of a father.

She asserted that “a lot of women are going through agony and heartache to bring up their child or children and the men who are responsible for getting the women pregnant are not taking part in the child’s life”.

“…I have seen many times that many children have become successful with the help of their mother as a single parent and the fathers would beat their chest proudly – when they have contributed nothing to the child’s success”, she quipped.

Rowe said this is “something that is going on with a lot of businessmen in Grenada, who have the finances and resources to help their children and are not doing it,” but instead “suffer that mother and the child, and as that child becomes successful in something they take the credit.”

Peters was not reached for comment on Rowe’s assertions.

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