The male abuser!!!

“Women Don’t Suffer in Silence, Stand up, Speak Out Against Verbal and Physical Abuse”.

I am dedicating this article to my good friend who had the courage to walk away from (12) years of marriage and physical abuse. She suffered in silence and no one knew but her young children that saw when the abuse was taking place.

If you get a man to physically abuse his wife in front of his kids, he has to be a hardcore criminal.
I’m urging all women who are facing verbal and physical abuse from their spouses, boyfriend and husbands to please report it to law enforcement officials and they can even seek advice and counselling from Legal Aid.

Domestic violence is any behaviour involving physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse. It is any form of aggression intended to hurt, damage, or kill an intimate person.

In other to fight discrimination and injustice against women we must start from the home for if a woman cannot be safe in her own house then she cannot be expected to feel safe anywhere.

Most men have taken a trend lately of abusing their spouses and girlfriends sometimes for no obvious reasons at all.

I would be frank and honest – any man that beats on a woman is a “coward” and to me he is nothing more than a whimpering little boy throwing tantrums looking for attention.

A real man doesn’t abuse and beat women, they love them. No woman should allow any man to abuse her in this kind of way, whether it be verbally or physically since those are unacceptable behaviours.

A woman could be a prostitute on the street but as a woman she deserves to be respected. It doesn’t give any man the right to abuse any woman as he so pleases.

Violence is violence and can in no way be misconstrued as discipline under any circumstance – cultural or otherwise.

Many Caribbean women have this foolish concept: “If a man doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t love me”. That’s one of the most ridiculous statements that one can make.

Woman, please get this nonsense out of your head because it’s called “abuse not love” since there is nothing passionate about being verbally and physically abused.

I know there are many women out there suffering in silence. I’m urging all women who are being abused, not to do this to yourself, please stand up, speak out and come forward as there is help for you.

Let’s expose those man beast called boyfriends and husbands who are hiding behind facades. Remember you are not a “piñata” but rather a special and unique person who needs love and give love.

Caribbean men in general their hands are “very fast” as we say in colloquial terms because they are always beating on women. Those low life men deserve to be jailed for degrading women like this.

My mother is a woman, sister, aunt and she has nieces and what I would not like for anyone of them I wouldn’t wish it on any woman out there.

I don’t care who you are or what walk of life you came from because “hitting a woman is wrong” and when men do that it shows that they have very little regards for women.

I don’t think they have respect for their own mothers or sisters who are women also. I’m urging all women who are being abused that if you are in a relationship and it’s not working out, get help and don’t become a victim of verbal and physical abuse and don’t become another statistic.

Please seek counselling and if that doesn’t work then walk away peacefully as that way everyone wins.

As a man, I empathise with all women who have faced some form of abuse in their life from worthless men who are showing no regards, love and compassion towards them.

It brings tears to my eyes knowing the statistics on domestic violence cases here in Grenada.

Women, it makes no sense at all staying in abusive relationship. I do empathise with you and I understand your plight. I know most women are scared of leaving these broken relationships because of death threats from men.

I know it’s not easy getting out especially when children are involved, and when a woman is unemployed without a job, it makes matters worse and that’s why men use this tactics to their advantage to further abuse women.

A woman has the option and she could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualise what’s beyond or ahead and there is a fear of leaving.

Most women always care about what others will say about them especially when it comes to speaking out and leaving an abusive relationship.

Most men want to live promiscuous lifestyles – the majority of men today believe women are property. I certainly don’t know where they’ve gotten that idea from because the only time people were referred to as property were during the period of the Arab and Transatlantic slave trade.

Many men see women as objects and punching bags rather than a person with emotions and feelings hence the reason why they abuse women.

I’m someone who doesn’t support any form of violence against women. A woman deserves to be respected to the highest level.

A woman brings forth life, she is the custodians of our children and she is entrusted with that great responsibility for their upbringing.

For a man to look at a beautiful woman and beat upon her, his heart must be cruel and morbid. Whenever I see a woman I see my mother, Grandmother, sister, aunt and nieces.

There’s far greater awareness now and the great thing is women know there’s help available.

Despite a woman’s character she doesn’t deserve to be abused. Men, please don’t do it because it’s wrong and be a man, amend your ways as you can walk away gracefully instead of being an abuser.

When men become abusers what are they teaching their children or what examples are they setting?

We need to be mindful and we must be aware of children who may be living in a domestically violent home because it can have serious consequences on them.

Brian J.M. Joseph

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