Kaiso semi-finals was nursery rhyme

Yes, I am offering a reward to the person or persons who murdered calypso in Grenada. I also want back the hard-earned $60 my wife and I shelled out for the Melody/Papitette calypso semi-finals, only to be insulted with kindergarten manjay pupput at Progress Park.

If that was the best coming out of the preliminaries, heaven help those who couldn’t make it in!

With so much happening in Grenada, one would think that calypsonians’ biggest headache would be deciding which juicy bone to suck on. Instead, veterans like Zingo, Sheldon and Papa Jerry could only offer up white, sandy beaches, lush, green vegetation and smiling natives.

After a promising start to his career, Baraka now equates taking politicians to task with trying to bring down government. Kelly and Croqueta were so insipid that apart from seeing them on stage, they made no impression on me.

Killa B was marginally above poor with his “Family”. I was amazed that Sheldon ignored his own black trump card in Grenada and decided to mind the Yankees’ business!

The women were predictable and predictably boring. Why do they keep limiting themselves to child and sexual abuse? I suggest that they stop pigeonholing themselves and begin to explore other themes.

With the advent of Messenger, I decided to join the dozens heading for the exit. Fortunately, I had to await my wife, who had gone in search of popcorn, else I would have missed Big J’s witty renditions.

It is a damning indictment of the calypso class of 2017 that the audience had to suffer through almost 20 nursery rhymes before getting something that elicited a response. Wanting to savour the taste of Big J’s offerings, I left while the going was good.

I cannot comment on the remainder of the pappyshow because masochism is not in my DNA. However, the portion that I endured has led to some questions:

(1). Were all the calypsoes and singers that bad in the preliminaries?

(2). Did calypsonians catch Lock Jaw Disease this year?

(3). Were the judges so incompetent that they left out the good songs and performers?

(4). Were the judges instructed to sideline certain types of calypsoes?

(5). Did one of the main sponsors, the good old Government of Grenada, cognisant that this is election season, offer any inducements for people to sing “Grenada nice”?

Whatever were the reasons for the Progress Park charade, the perpetrator or perpetrators of this heinous act of cultural murder, must be brought to justice.

Ps: I prefer to remember calypso as being biting and cutting so I won’t attend the funeral at the stadium on August 13. RIP, dear friend.

Kaiso Vigilante

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