Let me start by saying that I am so sorry that you had to experience such a traumatic ordeal. I am sorry that someone you trusted violated you and took from you your innocence, your self esteem, your self worth and your freedom.
It is not fair and it is surely not right that you are left to feel ashamed, guilty and dirty while the offender walks the streets. You may feel like you are at fault, like you invited the abuse by dressing a particular way or longing for love and affection, but never ever blame yourself for the lack of self control of your abuser.
Know that you are not at fault, you are not to blame and that there was nothing you did to deserve the abuse. The problem is with the person/persons who violated you.
Sexual abuse aftermath can leave you with feelings of hopelessness, anger, fear, anxiety, frustration and the thought of suicide. It can leave you so bitter and harden that you may never allow yourself to trust again or let love in your life.
I say to you, hold on. The hard part has passed as you survived the abuse and you are in the land of the living. Know that you are brave, you are amazing, you are resilient and you have the power to heal, you have the power to encourage others to heal and the power to break the silence by telling your story.
An untold story never heals; it just masks the pain, the hurt and the truth. Do not be silenced by the fear, the shame and the guilt but rather rise from the ashes like the phoenix bird and soar.
I know you wrestle with so many questions and thoughts running through your mind and that is perfectly normal. The flashbacks, the triggers, the nightmares are all flooding through your mind day after day, night after night. You may feel like the whole world is against you, you become withdrawn and isolated, afraid to live. You cry alone, you hurt alone and sometimes you just wish it could all be a bad dream.
Know that it is okay to not feel okay, that you are a warrior and the scars that you would have obtained tell a story of survival, a story of strength and a story of perseverance. Love yourself because it is the only love that cannot be taken away from you.
Forgive yourself because it is the beginning of your healing.
Heal with Hope Foundation Inc.